Opinion / Forum Digests
Hugging for health
By couchpotato ( bbs.chinadaily.com.cn)
Updated: 2006-03-23 10:54
Related thread: Chinadaily BBSHugging for Health
There is lots of hugging in our family. I an not too macho to say that at
age thirty-seven the first thing I want to do when I see my father is to
hug him. (Mom too, but that seems more "normal" in our sometimes
counterproductive western civilizatinon.) My daughter is now seventeen
months old. One of the words she now understands is hug. If I ask her to
'Go hug your grandma,' she'll do it. More importantly to me, if I say
"Come hug Daddy," she will happily do that too.
I've noticed in the past few days how completely alive i feel when she is
hugging me, regardless of what is on my mind, positive or troubling,
prior to the hug. Her hug changes my world. This morning before I left
for a business trip my seven-year-old son got up early to say goodbye to
me. The best part of this goodbye was a big hug---initiated by him. This
morning I reheard, on a tape a fact about hugging. The speaker said that
most people get far too few hugs each day. The research cited on this
tape said that we need eight hugs a day for maintenance and twelve per
day for growth.
Hugging is a way of connecting with others, of showing your genuine
affection and appreciation, of valuting others, and of giving. All of
these are positive, healthy, life enhancing purposes. While hugging is
natural and we all know how to do it, I have put together some guidelines
to help make you a better hugger.
1. Begin the hug with great eye contact. This communicates to the
receiver the spirit in which the hug is being given.
2. Be present during the hug. Even if the hug is only for three seconds,
devote your total energy and focus on the person you are hugging. Feel
how good it feels to both give and receive.
3. When you finish the hug and are pulling away, make great eyey contact
again. This further blesses the receiver, and communicates a positive
feeling to them.
4. A hug is not an opportunity to burp the other person! Be gentle. This
goes especially for the guys----a hug isn't the start of a wrestling
match either.
5. If you are much taller than the other person, bend your knees. Make
the hug comfortable and a blessing.
6. If you are hugging children, get on your knees and be at their eye
level. If they are small enough, pick them up to hug them.
All of these guidelines are about making the hug a completely positive,
giving experience. As in many other things in our lives, when we think
about others, we can make better decisions. The same is true for
hugs----hug with the huggee in mind!
Take a few minutes today to think about how often you give and receive
hugs. Remind yourself how it feels to be the receiver of a really good
hug----how it can improve your outlook and general emotional state. Ask
yourself whose day you could improve by giving them one or more hugs
today.
The above content represents the view of the author only.
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